There was once an alluring princess. She was very intelligent and polite. She ruled the island by herself with something very powerful. It’s a beautiful sliver necklace. That necklace told the princess what was right or wrong. That necklace was a souvenir from her wonderful father. Then she became a queen. Now she was the one to take care of her village. One lovely day, the queen went to her garden holding the necklace. Then several birds came along and the birds swooped down and took the necklace. The queen thought her life was ruined!  

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Do you think the queen would survive without the necklace? Why?
Had you ever had something very special in your life but then disappeared?
 


Mrs. Vilas
04/06/2013 05:56

comma then the word "but"

Past away? That is not correct.

You need to work on sentence variety. Please do not rush to submit your story until it sounds perfect...like the best writing you ever did in your life. There is no need to rush. You can submit it bu Wed or Thurs.

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Mrs. Vilas
08/06/2013 08:29

I can't see the words clearly here. It is blurry and too small for my eyes. Why does it look like this? Don't you write the posts first on weebly?

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Mr Hales in England (100 WC)
09/06/2013 08:10

I think your writing is great. I love the choice of words like 'alluring'. I just find your choice of colours on your website makes it quite difficult to read. Perhaps, a slightly darker blue???

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Hello readers, my name is Juliana. I love playing mincraft and playing the piano.

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